When You're Smiling....

It's time to do something different. I needed to smile more. Every time I looked at my mom I smiled. She smiled back at me everytime and last night was a good night for both of us. It's true "When you're smiling, when you're smiling the whole world smiles at you," at least last night it worked.

What do you do when you lose your patience?

Tonight was a tough night for me. Mom was cleaning the kitchen and wiping the dishes. I couldn't make her stop cleaning. I could hear her chest breathing very hard and she just refused to stop. I fear that she will fall down or even have a heart attack. I yelled at her. I cursed at her. I just picked her up and placed her in her bed. I picked her up three more times and she just got more stubborn. Mom was stubborn before her dementia but now she is even worse. I've been taking care of mom in the evenings by myself for almost six years. I am tired. This is not my mom and I am not me. I have no relatives or immediate family to help me out. My daughters are off to college. I do have three caregivers given me relief during my work hours but I've lost it. I just went outside and yelled at the top of my lungs. Do you have any suggestions?

CareGiver Guy: Public Bathrooms for Mom

How do female caregivers handle taking their father, husband or client to a public multi-stall restroom in a shopping center? I made this sign that I hook up on the door knob that states Warning “Male Caregiver with 86-old Mom Inside” I know almost every single room female clean restroom in the San Francisco/Oakland area. Any suggestions for CareGiver Guy?

My Mom Has Super Vision

Do people with dementia have supervision? My mom can see a lint on the floor from across the room and try to pick it up. The problem is my mom has a history of falling down and hurting herself. I've tried to stop her cleaning activities by deverting her attentions to a family photo album or by bringing out her favorite board game or maybe her favorite movie. It doesn't work. She gets so focused on cleaning the carpet in the living room or in the bedroom that her asthma perks up. YES, I vaccum the carpet three times a week. Do you have any suggestions?

Sometimes I Could Just Scream...

The evening times are difficult for me. I've been taking care of mom (with dementia) since 2002. It takes two hours for her to brush her teeth and wash her face. She will walk around the house or look outside the window or try to organize the kitchen. She sees people or animals in the window which is why I have closed and seal the curtains with tape. She still sees the "people or animals" through the windows. At first, I would tell her that there are no "people or animals" in the windows but she would get mad at me. Now I will shoo the "people or animals" away and she's happy. Have you seen Bill Murray's movie Groundhog Day? That's been my life for 5 years.

A Typical Morning for CareGiver Guy

My alarm clock wakes me up at 4:45 Monday thru Friday but it's been a difficult night. Mom woke up 4 to 5 times last night to go to the bathroom. She can still walk to the bathroom with the help of her "walker"; if she remembers to use her walker. She gets real "Independent" on me and her CareGivers and just refuses to use her "walker." I have place labels on her "walker" to "Always Use Your Walker".

Every morning, I set the table with her oatmeal breakfast, juice and her medication. Her caregiver comes in Monday thru Friday at 7AM. Mom woke up early this morning and we get into this discussion on Why She Needs a Caregiver? She's complaining that she doesn't need a caregiver. Thank God the CareGiver finally arrives at 7AM. I had to tell the CareGiver that mom is hiding her purse in the second bedroom closet. I'm still looking for her watch, the kitchen spoons. and my keys.