Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Changes...
Changes...with my 89-year old mom happened overnight. She woke up one morning and she was scared. She was afraid to get out of bed and held on to the headboard with great strength. She always wakes up in the middle of the night and walked to the bathroom and pee but last night was different. I told her "let's go to the bathroom" and I saw fear in her eyes. I tried to move her legs to the floor and mom just yelled. I tried to get her up by supporting her back with my hands but she just screamed like she was in pain. I tried again and without touching her back with my hands she screamed again. I finally got mom's feet touching the floor and finally sitting on the bed. She was still scared but finally held on to the hand grips of her walker and stooded up...but I had to place my forearms under her armpits to support her and stood right behind to make her feel safe. She started to walk very gingerly and for the first time she pushed her walker rather than pick up the walker. I noticed small changes...she didn't know where the bathroom was...she didn't want to go outside and walk...she didn't want to go in the car and she stayed in bed during a good part of the day. She did walk around the house however always with the help of her caregiver or me. We have an appointment with her doctor on Friday and this week I've been educating her caregivers with the new "Changes."
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Care.com Update
Want Ad for a Caregiver in Care.com
I am seeking a part-time caregiver who has experience with dementia. My mom is 89-years old, Filipina and is still living in her home. My Monday and Tuesday caregiver who has been with us for a year will be moving on as a new assistant teacher. The caregiver MUST live in a 10-mile radius of Oakland, California and have transportation with insurance. Please DO NOT apply if you live outside the 10-mile radius of Oakland. Mom takes her walker and has daily walks in parks, shopping centers, doggy parks, and senior citizen recreation centers. Mom uses a walker and is able to go to the bathroom with assistance. I want a caregiver who will stimulate mom with physical and mental activities. Hourly rate is $12.
This is my first want ad for a caregiver in www.care.com. It's a simple process and very cost effective than Craigslist ($75) or any other newsmedia. I became an official member for 30 days and placed an ad for $30. I could have applied for the 3-months member or a 1-year member but I felt confident that I could find a caregiver within that time. I found care.com communication between family member and caregivers very effective and provide some safety for caregivers because emails are onsite. I have received emails from 18 caregivers from the bay area but I found one common thread from placing ads in care.com and Craigslist. Caregivers do not read or understand my requirements that I want caregivers who live in a 10-mile radius of Oakland. I received emails from San Jose, Fremont and San Francisco; all outside the 10-mile radius of Oakland.
Care.com also provides a limited and free background check on all their caregivers on request. They will also provide an extensive background check for a fee. The website provides family members a profile of all their caregivers and sometimes a picture. Finding that right caregiver is like joining several dating services and looking for that right one. I would highly recommend Care.com as an excellent source to find a caregiver.
I am seeking a part-time caregiver who has experience with dementia. My mom is 89-years old, Filipina and is still living in her home. My Monday and Tuesday caregiver who has been with us for a year will be moving on as a new assistant teacher. The caregiver MUST live in a 10-mile radius of Oakland, California and have transportation with insurance. Please DO NOT apply if you live outside the 10-mile radius of Oakland. Mom takes her walker and has daily walks in parks, shopping centers, doggy parks, and senior citizen recreation centers. Mom uses a walker and is able to go to the bathroom with assistance. I want a caregiver who will stimulate mom with physical and mental activities. Hourly rate is $12.
This is my first want ad for a caregiver in www.care.com. It's a simple process and very cost effective than Craigslist ($75) or any other newsmedia. I became an official member for 30 days and placed an ad for $30. I could have applied for the 3-months member or a 1-year member but I felt confident that I could find a caregiver within that time. I found care.com communication between family member and caregivers very effective and provide some safety for caregivers because emails are onsite. I have received emails from 18 caregivers from the bay area but I found one common thread from placing ads in care.com and Craigslist. Caregivers do not read or understand my requirements that I want caregivers who live in a 10-mile radius of Oakland. I received emails from San Jose, Fremont and San Francisco; all outside the 10-mile radius of Oakland.
Care.com also provides a limited and free background check on all their caregivers on request. They will also provide an extensive background check for a fee. The website provides family members a profile of all their caregivers and sometimes a picture. Finding that right caregiver is like joining several dating services and looking for that right one. I would highly recommend Care.com as an excellent source to find a caregiver.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Murphy's Law
Murphy's Law - "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."
Life for a caregiver is a rollercoaster of Murphy's Law events. My life managing a staff of caregivers was running very smoothly and even when there was a blip on the system I was ready for the opportunity to handle the blip.
The first blip was my mom's part time caregiver who handles the Monday and Tuesday daytime shift informed me that she would be moving on to a new job after a year caring for my mom. I was ready and looking forward to retaining a new caregiver through www.care.com/ nationwide service. The second blip was the laptop computer that we used for Safeway grocery orders and Netflix DVD deliveries was attacked by viruses. The third blip was Comcast services went haywire so Mom and the caregivers received only half the cable stations. What was really frustrating was Comcast's customer service stated that it would take four days to get a repair person out to the house. The fourth blip was my cell phone screen froze and I spent 45 minutes talking with a T-Mobile customer service agent only to tell me that you need to upgrade to a new phone. Upgrade means you need to buy a new phone dummy. The fifth blip was mom's new caregiver has only five months experience driving a car. The sixth blip was Mom got focused on visiting the cemetary which delayed my flight plans. The seventh blip was my fellow passenger soaked me with her can of soda. The eight BIG blip was a family member got a diabetic seizure but he's OK. Today was a relatively good day...nobody got hurt or died just lots of blips.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I Am CareGiverGuy!
Wendy of Miami, Florida asked me "Why do you call yourself CareGiver Guy?
My first answer is because I was the only male caregiver at my support group meetings but now I would respond in a different way. As a young boy, I was fascinated by DC Comic's SuperMan.
Every morning, I and millions of other caregivers nationwide wake up and we put on our CareGiver Super Uniform and in one single bound we take care of our love one. We are special people willing to quit our jobs, have no social life, leave your family and friends, move into your parent's home, live a isolated life, and the willingness to care for your love one.
When we step outside in our real identities at family gatherings, shopping centers or for just a walk in the neighborhood...I hear their comments "you're such a good son, your father would be so proud of you, God will bless you, I haven't seen you in a long time; where have you been, I've been planning to stop by but I've been so busy, why don't we get together and have coffee, etc." We are the invisible segment of our population. We are invisible by the state and government when they conduct their unemployment surveys but we are working.
In my real identity, I feel tired...I feel frustrated...I feel anger...I am tired of the repetitive questions, I am lonely...I am tired of not getting real help from my friends and family...I am tired of living in my own Groundhog Day that never ends, but only repeats, I feel dispair...I am tired of feeling sorry for myself, I miss my real mom, sometimes I feel nothing BUT every morning I put on my CareGiver Super Uniform and I am strong again until one day my Kryptonite strikes and I break down or end up in the hospital or die...it has been the fate of many caregivers but I decided no more...it's time to begin a new life.
My first answer is because I was the only male caregiver at my support group meetings but now I would respond in a different way. As a young boy, I was fascinated by DC Comic's SuperMan.
"Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings at a single bound. Yes, it's Superman, strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Superman, who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel in his bare hands' and who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitian newspaper, fights a never ending battle for truth, justice, and the American way"
Every morning, I and millions of other caregivers nationwide wake up and we put on our CareGiver Super Uniform and in one single bound we take care of our love one. We are special people willing to quit our jobs, have no social life, leave your family and friends, move into your parent's home, live a isolated life, and the willingness to care for your love one.
When we step outside in our real identities at family gatherings, shopping centers or for just a walk in the neighborhood...I hear their comments "you're such a good son, your father would be so proud of you, God will bless you, I haven't seen you in a long time; where have you been, I've been planning to stop by but I've been so busy, why don't we get together and have coffee, etc." We are the invisible segment of our population. We are invisible by the state and government when they conduct their unemployment surveys but we are working.
In my real identity, I feel tired...I feel frustrated...I feel anger...I am tired of the repetitive questions, I am lonely...I am tired of not getting real help from my friends and family...I am tired of living in my own Groundhog Day that never ends, but only repeats, I feel dispair...I am tired of feeling sorry for myself, I miss my real mom, sometimes I feel nothing BUT every morning I put on my CareGiver Super Uniform and I am strong again until one day my Kryptonite strikes and I break down or end up in the hospital or die...it has been the fate of many caregivers but I decided no more...it's time to begin a new life.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Flashback….”I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”
A friend of mine from Tennessee was talking about her mother-in-law who was living by herself and the subject brought back memories of my brother who was the primary caregiver of mom after dad's death. My brother in 1991 died and I became the primary caregiver. Mom didn't have dementia at the time but she was living alone; although quite capable of living by herself I was still concern because she was 79-years old and alone. We have all seen the commercial with the old lady screaming "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
The objective behind the commercial is that senior citizens like my mom would receive a medical alert pendant that would allow our her to call out (verbally with her voice) to an audio receiving device and talk directly with a dispatch call operator, without the need to reach a telephone. The service was designed to appeal particularly to seniors who lived alone and who might experience a medical emergency, such as a fall in the bathroom, which would leave the parent alert but immobile and unable to reach a phone WRONG...the commercial was designed directly at the adult children whose parent lives at home ALONE.
My mom fought tooth and nail whenever I brought up the subject because she has also seen the "I've fallen and I can't get up" commercial. Mom looked at me with that superior look "I am not old and I can take care of myself" and I said I will hire a live-in caregiver if you don't wear the pendant. She finally relented and said "I will wear the pendant."
Here's an update version of the commercial; http://tiny.cc/cUAM9
The objective behind the commercial is that senior citizens like my mom would receive a medical alert pendant that would allow our her to call out (verbally with her voice) to an audio receiving device and talk directly with a dispatch call operator, without the need to reach a telephone. The service was designed to appeal particularly to seniors who lived alone and who might experience a medical emergency, such as a fall in the bathroom, which would leave the parent alert but immobile and unable to reach a phone WRONG...the commercial was designed directly at the adult children whose parent lives at home ALONE.
My mom fought tooth and nail whenever I brought up the subject because she has also seen the "I've fallen and I can't get up" commercial. Mom looked at me with that superior look "I am not old and I can take care of myself" and I said I will hire a live-in caregiver if you don't wear the pendant. She finally relented and said "I will wear the pendant."
Here's an update version of the commercial; http://tiny.cc/cUAM9
FlashBack - She's Fallen
Every morning I call mom to wish her a great day and to remind her to wear her pendant. Every Sunday we test the pendant together in different rooms to make sure she understands how it works inside the house and outside in the garden.
Several months have passed...
It was a typical day for mom. She ate the same cereal and toast for breakfast. She watched Regis and Kelly; then changed channels to watch her favorite Soaps. Around noon time, she went outside to inspect her flowers in the garden but for some reason she left her walker on the front porch. She inspected her roses and losted her balance. She called for help and then pressed her medical alert pendant.
Activating the medical alert pendant outside her house but within the range of the monitoring device alerted the emergency call center. The emergency alert operator would have called out and because mom was not in range of her voice she proceeded to call the names on the emergency call list. I was the first person on the list and because I left my cell phone on my work desk when I went to the restroom; she proceeded to call my mom's next door neighbor "Mr. Thomas." He volunteered to be on the emergency list and had a key to mom's house in case she fell inside the house. It's important that anybody on the list have a house key because otherwise the firemen will have to break down the door or windows.
"Mr.Thomas" found mom outside in the garden and he called 911. She broke her hip. I received another call from the dispatch center to let me know of the situation. If mom did not have the emergency pendant and the knowledge on how to use it; she would have been outside in the garden for hours.
Several months have passed...
It was a typical day for mom. She ate the same cereal and toast for breakfast. She watched Regis and Kelly; then changed channels to watch her favorite Soaps. Around noon time, she went outside to inspect her flowers in the garden but for some reason she left her walker on the front porch. She inspected her roses and losted her balance. She called for help and then pressed her medical alert pendant.
Activating the medical alert pendant outside her house but within the range of the monitoring device alerted the emergency call center. The emergency alert operator would have called out and because mom was not in range of her voice she proceeded to call the names on the emergency call list. I was the first person on the list and because I left my cell phone on my work desk when I went to the restroom; she proceeded to call my mom's next door neighbor "Mr. Thomas." He volunteered to be on the emergency list and had a key to mom's house in case she fell inside the house. It's important that anybody on the list have a house key because otherwise the firemen will have to break down the door or windows.
"Mr.Thomas" found mom outside in the garden and he called 911. She broke her hip. I received another call from the dispatch center to let me know of the situation. If mom did not have the emergency pendant and the knowledge on how to use it; she would have been outside in the garden for hours.
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