Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I Am CareGiverGuy!

Wendy of Miami, Florida asked me "Why do you call yourself CareGiver Guy?

My first answer is because I was the only male caregiver at my support group meetings but now I would respond in a different way. As a young boy, I was fascinated by DC Comic's SuperMan.

"Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings at a single bound. Yes, it's Superman, strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Superman, who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel in his bare hands' and who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitian newspaper, fights a never ending battle for truth, justice, and the American way"

Every morning, I and millions of other caregivers nationwide wake up and we put on our CareGiver Super Uniform and in one single bound we take care of our love one. We are special people willing to quit our jobs, have no social life, leave your family and friends, move into your parent's home, live a isolated life, and the willingness to care for your love one.

When we step outside in our real identities at family gatherings, shopping centers or for just a walk in the neighborhood...I hear their comments "you're such a good son, your father would be so proud of you, God will bless you, I haven't seen you in a long time; where have you been, I've been planning to stop by but I've been so busy, why don't we get together and have coffee, etc." We are the invisible segment of our population. We are invisible by the state and government when they conduct their unemployment surveys but we are working.

In my real identity, I feel tired...I feel frustrated...I feel anger...I am tired of the repetitive questions, I am lonely...I am tired of not getting real help from my friends and family...I am tired of living in my own Groundhog Day that never ends, but only repeats, I feel dispair...I am tired of feeling sorry for myself, I miss my real mom, sometimes I feel nothing BUT every morning I put on my CareGiver Super Uniform and I am strong again until one day my Kryptonite strikes and I break down or end up in the hospital or has been the fate of many caregivers but I decided no's time to begin a new life.


Wendy of Miami, FL said...

I AM CAREGIVERGAL! I prefer Wonder Woman over Superman any day. CaregiverGuy boy you made my Thursday even though it's a bit after midnight.


Anonymous said...

Caregiver guy you are on a roll!

S.W. said...

There is a film I saw on Alzheimer's reading room which inspired me as a caregiver:

Mary Carter said...

I love your comparison because every evening I feel like I can't do anymore but every morning I wake up and just do it.

Orlando, FL

Anonymous said...

Good brief and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Say thank you you on your information.

Mike Miller in San Diego said...

Caregiver Guy

Thank you for expressing how I feel every night after taking care of my wife who has dementia; tired and frustrated. In the morning, somehow I gain strength and start over again.


Mike Miller
San Diego

serendopeity said...

When I find other caregivers who feel as I do I breathe a sigh of relief knowing that I am not this monster who sometimes hates her life and what it has become.
I care for both my parents who have Alzheimers. Waking up each morning is a struggle, usually because Dad has been up all night wandering and I am trying to run on less than 3 hours sleep.
However, I have found that humour is the best weapon. Outsiders who see us or hear us as we laugh must think that I am an awful person - but I dont care what others think anymore. Come life my life for a day if you dare!!!!
My brothers are almost non-existant in their parents lives - their loss. Although I miss them, at the end of the day and when this has finally all played out I can say proudly "I did my best".